The uselessness of sex

I mean, what's the deal with this sex thing. Why does it become the king of all distractions? Skilled men are busy doing important things, and all of a sudden this silly feeling of 'sex' creeps in, and destroys everything. And its an everyday affair. Men get depressed, do suicide, go retarded over this mere feeling of 'lust'. What's in it? Why is it so dangerous? Why is it so worth noticing? Surely you don't gain anything by doing it. Neither money, nor success, nor fame. Then why do men fall prey to this enemy that is so needless in its existence, and is so powerless, and yet holds eternal power over all mankind.

I believe it's all in the mind. Men have got their priorities all screwed up. When god added penis to a man's body, i guess, he only intended man to use it just once- to transfer the fluid required for reproduction to begin. Well, but man, greedy as he always has been, dissatisfaction being his chief drawback, decided to make some extra use of that organ. And thenceforth, began his journey of doom.

Women, he turned into attractive objects. Women, who should be men's equal were turned into objects of lust and desire. Man coined such terms as 'beautiful', 'busty', 'sexy', and began to give unnecessary importance to such terms. Beautiful women became every man's choice. The concept and the evergreen business of prostitution propped up based on this very idea. Quite expectedly, women became arrogant. They had something all men desired- a vagina and a set of breasts.

It sounds so foolish. You can feel it and yet wouldn't do anything. Men do realize the enormous stupidity of the idea, and in fact, as they grow old ,they comprehend it completely. Unfortunately, its the young who hold the key to the world's future; and they are too self- involved in the pussy-worship. It is strange that a 2 decade old guy like me should realize this stuff so early in my age. Well, to tell you the truth I have had my share of jerking off; and I have loved it , more than I have loved life. But you know what- wisdom is a funny thing. It lurks near your head for years, and then when it can stand the separation no more , it jumps into your brain. It has jumped into mine prematurely. I can only hope it does the same to others.

 

THOSE WHO I HATE:

• Who try to be way too smart than they ever were and ever can be

• Who comment on things that are way beyond the understanding of their garbage-stuffed brains
• Who are arrogant assholes
• Who never understand u , and yet claim the right to ridicule you
• Who claim authority, despite being a pile of fucking bullshit
• Who laugh all the time for no apparent reason
• Who are too narrow minded to give your opinion any consideration
• Who mock u in the the most disgusting , evil kind of way
• Who are naive fools, and yet think of themselves as kings of the world
• Who do wrong, and expect u to support their wrong, just bcoz they are under the stupid impression that u are their ‘friend’
• Who borrow your things and are too self-involved or arrogant to come to your room to return it
• Who stab u in your chest, and still expect u to be their friend
• Who shout often
• Who disagree with u everytime , and yet expect you to always agree in whatever they do

The sound of music

My days are not rough, and certainly not stressful. I sleep for 15 hours sometimes and eat in the rain like the happiest man in the world. Then why do I need music to soothe me?

The answer lies in my psychology and sorrow. I shall not bore myself with the details of those. Much has been written about that unhappy topic in the depths of my most personal diaries. And I’ll never let a living soul (except me) to read them.

So lets brush aside the reasons for my listening to the ‘flow of music’. And instead, lets ponder over the beauties of the brilliantly flowing, meandering music. And since I’m listening to Backstreet boys , lets think about them. What i like the most, is that there is a song for each mood. And sometimes a song exactly suited to convert excruciating mental pains into free- flowing sorrowful rivers brimming with crystals of melted melody. Oh yeah, look how beautifully I write! But that’s not my hand that is typing , it’s my heart that converts the musical melody into into words that flow spontaneously out of my finger tips.

The song that touches my heart the most is of course ‘Shape of my heart’.I don’t care much about the lyrics. What it says, what it means is unimportant. What music that comes out, the dance that the air around me goes into, is all that matters. All this makes Ears, god’s greatest gifts to music-lovers like me. (though I’d still think of eyes as his best creation).

It strikes straight into the heart. Music is the most accurate bullet , that pierces the heart , and yet keeps it intact , to be pierced again with a new music. Its like the best sex u ever have. And though it hurts, u want it even more the next day. And these musicians, i don’t know how they get this ability to play with your heart. This makes them the true world conquerors. Kings, dictators, can only enslave people’s bodies. Musicians enslave our heart, and we never grumble over this slavery. We love it more. We want it more. When i bask in music, sometimes i forget that i am alive. I forget what i have, what i am, and keep rolling in that musical glory, until some asshole knocks at my door or walks with loud steps outside.

Music , ah music. And the kind of music I listen to the most is hardly surprising---romantic. I might try to hate girls as much as i can, but i cannot deny----i feel incomplete; and listening to romantic music ,in some way , unconsciously , is a losing attempt to complete myself. Oh , am i going into ridiculous philosophies now?Let me stop right here. And on a dreamy tune, let me conclude this chapter on Music.

Quite aptly, the song I’m listening to right now is ‘Quit playing games with my heart’.

Movies ,movies and more movies

Well, i don't get it. Is this why I came to CEERI-----to waste my fucking time watching movies? I mean I know i can be foolish sometimes, and emotional a lot of times, but surely there's a limit to that all.Am i going to stop when this black hole of laziness swallows me into oblivion and ordinariness, which btw, I am scared of the most.

Am I completely transformed, from a sincere studious smart kid into a movie watching, introvert-type couch-potato. Oh yes, I guess, this really describes me well. Or maybe 'loser' will also fit into my depiction aptly.

I want to change. I am begging for a change. And thats what makes the whole situation ridiculous , for I am not begging god, rather I am begging myself! I have lost all control over myself . not that i didn't see it coming. Last year I realized that I am coming in the way of my aspirations. Whatever i wanted to achieve , even the smallest tasks like studying for a test, were hindered by the nashvik in me. Yes, I do sense the development of a the negative, lazy ,destructive force in me. And worse of all, that destruction is aimed at myself. From infancy, that force has reached puberty now, and hell knows how much further will it grow. That I may never achieve any of my dreams is a threat worse than death to me.And the realization that I am the cause of my own decline breaks my heart everyday.

And yet, the movie fever goes on. Thats the only area in which I am left with any knowledge right now. All I ask of myself, Oh great Satyam's soul, is to have the power to obey to what my brain says, and not to listen to the devil's command. I just want to be my old self.

And then there's the added distress of no love. But i'll come to that some other night.

The sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherinr!

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."

Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.